I Spoke Too Soon

Remember how I said my bloating was better? Well, that lasted for about a day. It never completely went away, but I had some relief. Now I'm back to using a rubberband just so I can wear my jeans. I've even worn maternity pants out in public twice. Yes, you read that right. I simply CANNOT fit into my clothes anymore. And in case you need reminding, I'm only 6.5 weeks along.

I found some forums online where women have said things like, "Help me-I'm 6 weeks and look like 6 months!" Other women commented-"Been there before-it's okay-it will either a.) go away in a few weeks or b.) at least not get much worse. " One woman said she looked like 6 months around 9 weeks along but that when she truly was 6 months, she wasn't much bigger. Well, that's a relief. If my stomach keeps growing at this rate, I truly will pop by the time 6 months rolls around.

And lest you think I'm exaggerating, here's proof.

I'm not doing a lot of rejoicing over here-I stepped on the scale to find I'd already gained 4 lbs. Of what? My little lentil bean doesn't even weigh an ounce yet. Am I retaining water (even though I'm peeing quite frequently?) is it just gas (even though...okay you get the point). And no, I am not overindulging myself in sweets, etc. So, for now, I wait. Since I know there have been others to go through this (even though I don't know any personally), I'm not panicked, just a little bit upset.

I had the perfect pregnancy w/Ella-and was SOOOO looking forward to the actual pregnancy part again (the baby afterwards, of course, but some women really hate the pregnancy part-I loved it.) But I'm not enjoying this one. And I don't feel connected yet to this baby. Part of it may be my heart not letting me get connected until I know everything's okay.

And it's hard to enjoy the pregnancy when you just feel so fatandyucky. I'm okay feeling that way at 8 months, not now. And let me just add-if I was truly 4 months along and this was truly the baby showing on me, I'd be delighted and happily wearing my maternity clothes. But, alas, I can't even say I'm in my 3rd month yet. (And, by the way, I can't wait until I am officially 9 weeks, so I can say, "I'm in my 3rd month" if anyone asks. I figure I'll leave fewer mouths agape if I say that than if I say, "I'm only 9 weeks-isn't my growing tummy just beautiful?")

And lest you fear, I am still grateful for what I think is a baby growing inside me. My mom recently asked, "Laura, what if it's a tumor?" Thanks, Mom, I needed to add that to my list of worries. But no, I've taken 2 pregnancy tests and still haven't started my period-pretty sure it's a baby. Some ladies that I spoke with at MOPS yesterday said, "That's just how it is w/your 2nd-you show much more quickly." And technically this is my 3rd-but still w/Ella, I didn't need maternity clothes until 14 weeks. That's actually early for some to wear them, but I attribute that to the fact that one, I am short and my tummy has no where to go but out and two, I had indeed been pregnant before, and even though it didn't last, my uterus still knew what it meant to expand.

Here's the clincher though-if I go from wearing maternity clothes at 14 weeks w/Ella to 6 weeks with this one, then if I ever get pregnant again, I will have to start wearing them two weeks before the baby is conceived. Just thought I'd give you a heads-up.

So, my current plan is to go buy lots of cute (do those exist?) sweatpants and long shirts and wear them everywhere (not sure what to do about church attire yet). I figure if I curl my hair and make it look ever so pretty, maybe no one will notice my tummy and ask the dreaded question, "So, when are you due, dear?"