Well, we finally got the internet connected in the rental house, and now I feel human again. I was feeling so disconnected from the world, especially since we had no TV to even watch the news. I've so missed my blogging family and friends.
A little has happened since I last wrote. I'm now a year older (31!) and had a wonderful time at Red Bone Alley w/Will (sans Ella-thank God for grandparents!). We both had shrimp and cheese grits (yummy!!!) and a free birthday sundae for dessert. (And yes, Sarah, I got to enjoy my cup of coffee!) There was a musician playing the guitar there-blues and some 80's classics-it was lovely. I really wanted to dance but neither Will nor I had the nerve as no one else was....maybe I can talk him into a dance class and we'll show off next year. :-)
And more news...we close on the 20th! So, we'll be closing 35 days after we put the house up for sale. Crazy how fast this all came together. I'm now trying to remind myself that I should be thankful and grateful. Right now, I'm going through an emotional time. We're losing our first home, the only home Ella has known. And we've gotten about 6 calls since the house was under contract which makes me think, "Did we have it priced too low?" "Could we have gotten more?" "Should we have held out?" Based on our interview w/the real estate agent we considered going with (but decided against), we made $1000 more than she would have even listed the house for, yet still, that was only one realtor's opinion and again I wonder....You know, Satan loves to get me w/those "What If's."
So, I've just been a wreck this week. Questioning, crying, missing our home, and to top it all off, I was 5 days late. That actually got me hoping, wondering....but after 2 tests, I resigned myself to the fact that I was not pregnant. Nope, just very late and I'm never late. Of course now I realize stress and Ella nursing at night during those weeks she slept w/us at Mama's probably led to the delay. But I was hoping...
I know God's timing is best, and I know that I need to make this home our home for now, as best I can. I know all these things in my head, but if my heart could ever get on board, I'd be doing much better.
Thank you all for your prayers.