Tuesday, August 10, 2010

It's Been Way Too Long!

I guess it's finally time for an update. My little man will be 2 soon-how crazy is that?!
He's been going to the potty consistently since 18 months, but still has a dipe on for nap and nighttime. He's diaper-free around the house-still working on him wearing underwear b/c he can't seem to get them down by himself yet. And he talks all the time; his vocabulary amazes me- I guess having a big sister helps in that area. Of course, that also means he learned the word "Mine!" super early and also the exclamation "Don't do that!" They definitely have their squabbles but when they're playing sweetly together (see pic above), I think what a joy siblings are and wish for more. The other 90% of the time, I'm pulling my hair out and swearing off any more children for good.

God has been dealing with me about the tongue. The law of kindness is usually not found on mine. Rather it's an ugly tone...often yelling, "ELLA! What did you do to your brother?" So, I've been memorizing verses in James. James 1:19-Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." And James 1:26, "Anyone who considers himself to be religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, deceives himself, and his religion is worthless." I'm often coming to Ella, many times during the day, asking her forgiveness for getting angry and yelling at her when I should have dealt with her transgression in a kind, calm manner. I don't want my tongue to permanently damage my children-you know it's full of deadly poison, set on fire from Hell, impossible to tame. And the worst part is Ella is imitating me in her dealings w/Caleb. That's the worst...when you finally get to hear what you sound like. I just tend to lose it when I hear Caleb screaming or crying. And why is it that I always rush to his defense and assume she is to blame? He's the baby...she must be to blame. But, of course, that's not always true. Often she just wants him to do what she wants him to do, whether he wants to or not. Instead of yelling at her, it goes much further when I calmly sit her down and explain that it's okay for Caleb to do his own thing-they can still be in the same room with each other. And we can't always get what we want (yes, I'm singing it now!), and we have to treat others how we would want to be treated. Basically it's easier to yell out in frustruation than it is to train over and over again. How sinful I am! Training in righteousness takes such work. Parenting is hard...period. So, my friends, that is what I'm struggling with now...and have been for sometime. I covet your prayers. I do love my children...I just need God every minute of every day to put a watch over my tongue. To cry out to Him before I bellow out to my children. Because they are, after all, children. They must be taught. Just like I am God's child and still am being taught. "But you're 34, Mommy!" Yes, Ella and I'm still learning to have the law of kindness on my tongue. To speak blessings and not cursings. There's a huge difference in saying, "Ella! I can't believe you did that! What were you thinking? You're a very bad girl!" And, "Sweetie, please come here. We need to talk about what you just did. That hurt your brother and God wants us to love one another, not hurt each other."
Oh, for the grace to always do the latter.


rcsnickers said...

Oh I am right there with you!!! After our fifth I realized I had a bad tongue! I thought, why am I so wicked? Is it my heart? SO I clung to create in me a clean heart oh God and renew a right spirit within me! Now I am praying Ps 91:3 Keep a watch on my mouth O LORD and a gate on my lips. I will pray for you and me in this area! I hate to hear my children mimic me in my tone of voice!

Thanks for the update!

Laura said...

Thanks, girl. Good verses!
And the verse right after clean heart..to restore the joy of your salvation and to grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Oh, to be more willing, with a cheerful spirit, to serve my family. Love to you and yours!

Elise @A Path Made Straight said...

It's so hard in the moment! You are not the only one who struggles with the tongue. I'm working on this with you, friend!

The children are absolutely beautiful and precious. You are blessed!